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Thursday, November 26, 2009

envy

As the eye of the monster turned green, everything that happened in his life flashed through his mind. The insatiable thirst to have everything that the people around him posses and more, makes his throat burn. He spend 15 years of his life sucking up to all the people he hate in order for him to be where he is right now and yet it seems not enough. He’s still unsure if he had made the right choices in life. Or was he doomed to be forever, trapped in a life he hates. What if he went elsewhere and followed the girl of his dreams...Would he be happier? Was he trapped to be with someone he thinks less of? Will he spend forever with the woman who sucks at mothering his children, lazy and irresponsible and was so dense that she was dragging him down to a moot life? Will his children be enough to satiate his hunger for a better life? Or will he always regret his erroneous decision of letting go a better life because of pride.
He felt envious of the man who has less of what he has but has more of what he wants in life. He felt terrible when he had what he would never have in spite of all the sucking up he had done in his life. What if his woman was better, would she be the wind beneath his wings and helps him soar? Or will she be forever an encumbrance to him. What if he deserves her and it’s what all he can have? Would He be envious enough to betray a friend? Yes, he can. After all he had done, a simple defecting wouldn’t hurt him at all. Why does he need conscience and pride? After all, he had none for the longest time now. He believes his lies and little dream surrounding his pretend world. Who cares if he steps on another’s foot as long as he steps ahead?
But would he be really happy racing with infinity. Would his cravings be satisfied or would he be exhaust his life trying to catch up the fast wind until he dies.